Bonjovi rocks On occasion
by HarrySirius
Summary: Sometimes, love is all you've got. And sometimes it's not enough. And in between it's the most amazing thing they,ve ever felt. Preseries. Wincest.


**My first attempt at writing Wincest. This just popped into my head while listening "Never say goodbye" by BonJovi. Maybe this is going to turn into a multichapter with Songs from BonJovi that inspire me to write Wincest. Let's see.**

**Warnings: Wincest. Male/Male-sex. first time. preseries.**

Never say goodbye**  
**

_~Remember at the prom that night_

_You and me we had a fight~_

„So I guess, I'm off now…" The younger one of the Winchester-brothers was shifting somewhat uncomfortably, standing in the doorway ready to leave. His eyes were travelling over the relaxed form of his older, who was sitting at the kitchen-table, helping himself with another beer.

Dean chuckled hoarsely after taking a swift sip of the cool liquid, eyeing Sam with a sideway glance. "Dressed up pretty much, lil' bro! Hoping to score tonight?" Anyone who wasn't Sam wouldn't have noticed the slight flicker of hurt crossing the green orbs while talking. Anyone else would just have thought that there sat a big brother who liked to tease his younger sibling. But it was Sam who was watching and the same kind of hurt was shown in his own green eyes only that it stayed there, because he wasn't as good as his brother at hiding his emotions.

"Ah come on, don't look at me like that, Sammy. It's you who wants to play Prince Charming and take the princess to the ball, not me! Why dress up like that, if you don't want to get into her panties?" He meant it to be casual, but the last bit was spoken with a little bit too much venom in his voice. Anyone else might have thought it was just the way Dean spoke to his little brother. But Sam knew better. He knew that Dean had wanted to hurt him with that last comment. And he had succeeded.

"You know perfectly well I don't mean to! Why do you have to be like that?" he whispered angrily, casting his eyes down. Guilt flashed through Dean's eyes, quickly replaced by suppressed anger.

"It's you who wants to go to the prom with someone else. Not me!" Even as he said it, he knew he was making a fool of himself. He was blaming the fourth bottle of beer in his hand, but deep down he knew that it wasn't the alcohol that had made him say it.

Sam's eyes shot up, clearly blazing now, and unshed tears lingering. "You know I can't take you! And you wouldn't have wanted to go, even if I had asked you! Why are you such a jerk? It's my prom! For god's sake Dean! Don't I deserve some normality? I graduated from high-school with excellent grades and I wanna celebrate it with my friends! Is that too much to ask? Only because you think normal things like a prom suck doesn't mean I have to! Rachel is a nice girl and everyone has got a date so… Why am I justifying myself? Screw you Dean! Don't wait for me, it's going to be late." His hand was trembling at the doorknob, as he yanked it open, shooting his brother a last glance. "And you know what? Maybe I will try a girl for once!" His voice was dripping with malice and at the same time his heart was breaking, because Sam knew he had hurt Dean deeply right now. But stubbornness was like a family-disease and the younger one wouldn't have been able to take it back, even if his life had depended on it. The door shook in its angles and silence was all that Sam left in the dimness of the kitchen.

The hand that held the bottle of beer trembled, and Dean had to put it down because if he hadn't it surely would have slipped. The last comment had taken all of his strength and Dean hated himself for that. The sick feeling of jealousy gripped his heart and clenched it painfully, making him want to vomit. He hadn't meant to be so mean to Sam. Hell, he claimed he loved his brother – much more than he _should_ actually – and now he had turned an evening that should have been special for him into a nightmare. But when it came to his little brother, all his senses seemed to stop. He would die in an instant if Sam would ask him to. But just thinking about someone else having the possibility to touch him like only Dean himself was supposed to do, made him go insane. Not that he actually _was_ supposed to touch him – but he and Sam had crossed that line ages ago. Touches had led to more and grown into a love so deep, it sometimes scared the hell out of him.

"I'm such a fucking bastard…" he cursed himself, letting his head fall onto his arms that had rested on the kitchen table. He knew that Sam loved him unconditionally. But he also knew that his little brother would be leaving – maybe not now, but he would eventually. Sam hadn't talked about it, but Dean knew that he wanted to go to college. And now that he had finished high-school there was nothing to hold him back anymore. So any day now, it could be goodbye. And that scared Dean even more. Scared him so much in fact that he couldn't control his feelings anymore and behaved like jealous schoolgirl. Everyone seemed to be a potential threat in taking Sam away from him lately and tonight he had cracked. Sam was the most faithful soul on earth, which was what Dean thought anyway, but with his stupid behavior he might have just pushed him into the arms of another. And that with them running out of time.

"No…worse…I'm a fucking girl…" He wiped at his eyes, took the bottle of beer and dropped it, still half-full, into the bin. Then he grabbed the keys to the Impala and left as well.

The music was annoyingly loud and Sam sat grim-faced at one of the tables, playing absent-minded with his glass of spiked punch. The fight with Dean lay heavy on his chest and he cursed his stupid brother for acting like that. Of course he knew what that had been all about. And somehow it even warmed his heart a little that his brother was jealous of some girl Sam himself didn't even know the color of her eyes. Green was all he knew and loved and wanted. And Dean should have known that, damn him!

"Don't you enjoy yourself, Sam?" Rachel asked, startling him. Caught in his thoughts about Dean he had all but forgotten about her still sitting with him. "I am! Sorry Rachel…" he answered, smiling awkwardly and the girl sighed.

"Care to dance?" She asked after a pause, turning hopeful eyes on him.

"Ehm…I….maybe later…" He truly felt sorry for her, but he just didn't feel like dancing right now and possibly wouldn't for the whole evening. Rachel's eyes narrowed dangerously and Sam knew what was coming, even before it started.

"You know what, Sam Winchester? You are the worst date I ever had! This is the prom for christ's sake! And I'm not gonna sit here and wait forever for you to ask me to dance! Enjoy your time, sitting here and pulling a face like the world's ending! I'm gonna have some fun now! Bye!" And with that she stormed off.

Sam stared at her back for some seconds and then sighed inwardly. So much for a little bit of normality. So much for his prom night. But if he was honest to himself, he didn't even care much. He hadn't enjoyed himself for one minute. And even if he still was mad at Dean for being such a jerk, he knew that he would have had enjoyed the evening much more with him. Because even if it was a cheesy and above all impossible thought, he would have been more than happy if his brother would have taken him to the prom. Because he was the only person he really wanted. And knowing that, in a not too far ahead future, they would be separated, he craved to spend every waking hour with him.

"Time for me to go." He whispered to himself, grabbed his jacket and left. When he stepped outside a chill caught him, and he put his jacked on, pulling it close around him. Instinctively he looked around, as if to search for someone he knew couldn't be possibly there. Just as he was about to turn and walk back home, he caught a glimpse of a shiny black car, parking at the end of the road. A warm smile crept onto his face, all anger forgotten at the welcoming sight of the Impala. As he slowly walked up to it, Dean got out and presented him a lopsided grin.

"You know I'm still mad at you." Sam mumbled, grinning back.

"And I deserve it, I guess." Dean answered and got around the car to open the passenger's door. "Your coach is ready, Cinderella!" he chuckled and Sam shot him an annoyed look.

"Jerk…" he whispered, but then smiled again and gladly accepted the offer. Dean chuckled some more, got to the driver's seat and started the engine. But before taking off, he turned to Sam, face plastered in honest regret, and his eyes shone with endless guilt. "I'm really sorry Sammy…" Words spoken so simply but honestly and Sam's heart warmed even more. "It's okay, Dean. Me too. Now let's just go home."

"Not so fast princess. It's your ball after all. And now that I ruined the first hours I mean to make up for it!" Dean's eyes then sparkled again and Sam looked up quizzically. "The night is still young and I'm gonna make it memorable for you. It's not every day that a man graduates from school, being the best of his year!" And with that he pulled the Impala onto the road with shrieking wires, heading into the night.

"_But the band they played our favorite song_

_And I held you in my arms so strong"_

"Where are we going?" Sam asked wondering and Dean smiled wickedly. "Wouldn't be a surprise if I told ya!" He winked and pulled the Impala off the road and onto a narrow path, leading through the woods. After some more minutes the trees cleared and they reached the top of a small hill. That was where Dean brought the Impala to a halt. Sam eyed him questioningly but decided to remain silent for now. His older brother beamed at him and laid a tender hand on his cheek, a gesture that was reserved only for the most private moments.

"Just stay in there for a couple of minutes. I'm getting' everything set." And with that he was out of the car. Sam didn't even have time to respond but a fond smile crept onto his face. As much as Dean could be a jerk, he could be the sweetest person if he wanted to. But most of the time the older one didn't give you the chance to see that. Actually those sweet moments were rare occasions reserved only for Sam. And that was something that made the younger brother love him even more. No one in the whole world could make him feel so _special._ Even that earlier outburst was proof of that.

"Sammy! It's ready, you can come out now!" Dean called and Sam chuckled. His brother sounded like an excited preschooler and he just wanted to tell him that, but then his eyes caught the scene and his breath was caught in his throat. Dean was surrounded by a dozen candles, holding a bottle of something in his hand and smiled almost shyly at him.

"Happy graduation, little brother. I got candles and champagne and everything you girls like! You wanted a proper celebration, right? Here we go!" He poured some of the champagne into one glass and handed it to Sam, who was still at a loss for words.

"Cheers, Sammy! Hope you don't mind me taking the bottle. Money only lasted for one glass…" Dean chuckled somehow embarrassed and glass and bottle met with a clinking sound.

After some sips and some minutes, Sam hadn't still found his voice and Dean's eyes flicked nervously over the face of his little brother. "You don't like it? They said it's the most romantic spot in town. All stars and stuff…." His voice broke a bit from embarrassment and he scratched his head, unsure. "Too cheesy?" he asked and finally the words came back to Sam.

"No, no! I love it really…Jesus… I'm just so…well I didn't expect something like that. This is just so…" he rambled, not sure how to put his thoughts into words. But then Dean's face dropped a few inches, preparing to bury the sweet person back in safety and Sam hastily continued. "It's beautiful… thank you so much…." With two strides he closed the distance and captured his older brother in a gentle kiss. "Really… this is perfect…" he whispered and the smile on Dean's face returned.

"I hoped you'd like it." His voice was a mere whisper so unlike the deep and rich sound Sam was used to. "...uhm…wanna dance, little brother? This is your prom after all…" Dean asked huskily and the eighteen-year-old simply nodded. If there was one person on earth he wanted to dance with, it was Dean. "Then I just get the music started!"

Sam just watched as Dean went back to the driver's seat, turning the keys in the ignition to start the radio. He couldn't quite believe that this was actually happening. Dean wasn't exactly what you called the romantic type. And Sam himself normally didn't give a damn about such stuff too. Their relationship didn't need candles and champagne and stars and sweet music. They knew that they loved each other without declaring it in such a way. But right now it somehow was all that Sam wanted. Right now it made him happy.

Dean had come back from the car and now soft music was caressing the night. He shortly wondered about himself, but dispatching the thought as soon as it had hit him. _Anything to make Sammy happy. _ Sam quirked an eyebrow at him, as the older reached for his hand, pulling him close.

"Bon Jovi?" He asked and Dean smiled tenderly. "Well you like such a girly sound. And hey… Bon Jovi rocks – on occasion." He laughed a belly laugh, pulling Sam even closer and began to move to the sound of the guitar. His heart skipped a beat as Sam's sigh brushed his neck. Just then he recognized that his little brother was at the same height as he was, for he leaned his cheek onto the younger one's and didn't have to bend down to do so. Much too soon he would overgrow him. And maybe he wouldn't even been able to witness that. The happy beat of his heart turned into a painful one and Dean gripped Sam even tighter. The younger responded to that and dug his fingers into the back of Dean's leather jacket. The fear of losing Sam tried to overwhelm him and the young man felt his eyes watering. He told himself not to think about it and just to savor the moment, but now that the thoughts had come he could not _not_ think about it. The smell of Sam filled his nose as he hid his face in his hair, trying to regain some composure. He didn't want his little brother to see this kind of fear in his eyes. He was the big brother, the strong one. Nothing could bring him down. But right now it seemed that actually… something _could_. Just as he was about to let his feeling run free and beg Sam not to leave, a whisper reached his ear, so fragile, so tender, Dean wasn't even sure he had actually heard it.

"Make me yours tonight, Dean…"

"_Remember when we lost the keys_

_And you lost more than that in my backseat"_

Dean's eyes widened at the question and he raised his head a bit, so he could look into the tender eyes of his younger brother. There was so much love shining back at him at the moment, he didn't know if he could take it. They had done a lot of groping and touching, even some blow jobs were involved, but they had never actually crossed _that_ line. Dean had made sure of it. Because in some sick and twisted sense he had thought that this could somehow save them. When this all had started, Dean hadn't wanted to let it happen at first. He had cursed himself, had told himself over and over that this wasn't real, that he didn't really _love_ his younger brother like that. And then Sam had returned those feelings and everything had gotten so, so wrong. And nothing had ever been _that_ right. The night, when he had finally admitted to himself and to Sam that he could not _not_ love him like that, had been the best night of his life. And he still hated himself for that. For being weak, for encouraging his little brother in this sick love. But nothing had ever felt so right.

Dean was searching for some kind of doubt in Sam's eyes but there simply was none to find. There was just undying love and a trust so deep, the older knew he didn't deserve. Because he had betrayed it already by giving in. By granting Sam everything he wanted, right or wrong. For being the brother the younger _wanted_ but didn't _need_. And finally for granting him that last wish, as he bent down and caught his little brother in a passionate kiss.

Sam knew that it had been risky to ask this of his older brother, for he knew how Dean had tried not to cross that line between them. For him it didn't make such a difference. They had done so much already, so why bother with peanuts? Sam was not stupid. He knew how screwed up they were. But as they both had decided to go down that road, he didn't work himself up over it. He loved Dean more than anything in the world. So what if it was illegal in practically every state? If it was abnormal? His brother and him had seen so many abnormal things, so many terrible things children at their age shouldn't have been seeing. But they had. Nothing was right in their lives. Nothing but this.

The moment, Dean had pulled him close, Sam had felt his body responding as it always did, when he felt the lean, muscular body of his older brother pressed to him. Mixed with this awkward romantic scenery and Dean's scent, his senses had gone wild, leaving him pretty aroused. He was sure that the older must have felt it, too, but would have never acted on it. So it had been his turn, knowing that Dean could never say no to him. And most important that his older brother wanted it as much as he did. Sam had felt that, too. And now that the younger felt the soft lips lingering passionately on his, he knew that he had won. He returned the kiss with the same passion, holding onto Dean with all his might.

Carefully but none to gently Dean pushed Sam towards the Impala, never leaving his lips, only to catch some air. Sam's words and the reaction of his body were already pushing him over the edge, making him loose his mind. He wanted his little brother so much it hurt and now that he had given in, he could not hold back anymore. Somehow he had managed to push Sam towards the back door of the car and had even been able to open it. Or Sam had done so – Dean wouldn't have been able to tell. As if it really mattered.

Sam's jacket had already been lost on the way and now Dean was working on his shirt, trying to unbutton it without ripping it. But his fingers trembled from lust and a strange kind of fear and made it a nearly impossible task.

"Just rip it…" Sam mumbled and sent jolts right into Dean's groin. Only Sam could do such a thing. With girls, Dean had always been so sure of himself, never trembling, never afraid. But right now he felt like a damn virgin, only because of his little brother. But still he did as he was told, mostly because he was losing his patience with the damn thing. The buttons flew in every direction as he pulled the shirt open and he could feel his brother tremble under the touch of his cold fingers. Yes, that was more like it. Softly he ran his fingertips over the exposed flesh while gently licking and biting down on Sam's throat, making the younger one moan in pleasure. Dean had to suppress a moan himself just from hearing this. God, Sammy really turned him into a puddle of nothingness – just because it was him. His erection already throbbed painfully in his tight jeans and as his brother arched into his touch and rubbed against him, Dean hissed the moan he was suppressing.

Sam couldn't muster one sane thought as he felt his brother's touches and kisses roaming over his body. His own hands were gripping the older one's hair forcefully, trying to hold onto something, anything. He was already rock-hard and even though he had some experience with girls as well, this was an altogether other matter. This was Dean touching him. And not only touching. Tonight they were crossing the line that would change them forever. If Sam had been in his right mind, maybe he wouldn't have known if he really wanted that change after all or not. If he had been sane, maybe he would have thought it over, if just for the sake of his brother. Something like that could put a pressure on their relationship that actually could break them. But right now he wanted nothing more. Hell, since that first kiss with his brother he hadn't wanted anything else. His hands got a grip at Dean's leather jacket and violently pulled it down and for mere seconds his brother's hands left his body to help him with it. As the older wanted to resume the torturing caress on Sam's skin the younger caught his hands and their eyes met. Dean's eyes were dark with lust and Sam grew even harder at the look his brother was giving him. Never leaving his eyes he placed one soft kiss after another onto Dean's fingertips, letting his tongue flick over it ever so slightly and his older brother started panting softly.

"Oh…Sammy…" he whispered through swollen lips, enjoying far too much and not enough. The younger one sure knew what he was doing and Dean grew harder by the minute. Each touch with that amazingly talented tongue was sending jolts into the deepest pit of his lower half, making him press his body even closer to Sam's. He helped himself out of his shirt, wanting to feel the bare skin on his chest and Sam seemed to like that as well, because he arched into him, grinding their hips together and forcing another moan out of Dean's mouth. "God, I want you so much…" He whispered into Sam's ear and got a sigh as an answer.

Their lips met once more and now their tongues were dueling, wanting to taste everything of the other. Ever so carefully, without breaking lip-contact, Dean lowered Sam onto the backseat of the Impala. Again their eyes met, lust and love evident above all. An almost sweet smile crept onto Sam's lips, before he grabbed at his brother's pants and pulled him on top of him. Their lips met yet again in a fierce, passionate kiss and their hands were exploring their bodies thoroughly. Soon both pairs of pants were gone and now only their underwear was separating them. By now both boys were panting and rubbing at each other, craving for that final touch. It was Dean who started to bring down the last border. His hands were running softly over Sam's chest, teasing and caressing, going all the way down. Sam moaned loudly as he was freed of his boxers and Dean smirked at that, before, ever so softly, running his hand over the sensitive skin.

"Oh yes… I am so gonna make you mine…" His voice was laden with lust and heavy with emotion. His hands were working Sam now sure and firm, making the younger one cringe under his touch. "Dean…" A hiss was the only word his little brother managed to choke out, as the older rubbed his hand over his erection, sending goose bumps all over his body. All too soon Dean could sense Sam getting close to climax, but he didn't just want to finish him like that. He wanted it to special for Sam, not like any other time. He wanted it to be special for both of them.

When he pulled his hand back, Sam protested with another frustrated moan and Dean kissed him gently. "Not yet, little brother…not yet…" he murmured, softly caressing the sweaty bangs falling into half-closed green eyes. So much like his own and yet so very different. Dean wanted to ask if Sam really wanted to go through with it. He wanted to ask him if he was sure, wanted to tell him that crossing that final line would change them irreversibly. He wanted to ask all those silly questions, wanted to say all these words that you told the one you loved more than anything, before you were going to give them all of you. But Sam wasn't the next-door-virgin. And Dean wasn't the next-door-boyfriend. They were so much more and he knew that he didn't have to say those words, because Sam already knew. He knew and he wanted it, wanted all of _him._

With one swift movement he freed himself of his own boxers and he could feel his brother's intense gaze on him, making him shiver. Dean had never been a shy one, certainly not, but Sam's eyes on him made him the tiniest bit insecure. He wanted to be good enough for him. Oh, how much he wanted that. He pushed the younger one a little deeper into the car and lowered himself carefully on top of the slimmer body, all arms and legs and just so perfect in any way. His breath got caught in his throat as their erections touched and he felt Sam trembling violently. _Not yet, Sammy, not yet._

Dean was beautiful in every way and Sam just couldn't get his eyes away from the stunning man in front of him. He was way beyond thinking right now, drowning in the feeling of love and lust towards the one person he trusted his life with. Dean's skin felt so soft on his, so much softer as he had imagined it to be. His hands were rough from hunting but the rest seemed almost fragile. The only thing hard on Dean right now was the erection that was poking into Sam's belly and just the thought of it nearly made him come. "Please, Dean…" he moaned, wanting, needing that final touch so very desperately. And his brother obeyed. Sam's eyes widened as he felt his brother pushing a careful finger into him, and his whole body tensed. Dean made a shooing noise, gently kissing Sam's lips, a wordless insurance that everything would be alright. Then he began moving his finger and Sam felt strange jolts of pleasure shooting through his body. As he was slowly relaxing, Dean pulled his finger out, only to add a second right away. Once again, Sam tensed but he got used to the strange sensation pretty quickly and even started to trust into that touch. That brought a gentle smile to Dean's face and he kissed his brother some more. He then began to insert a third finger and yet again Sam tensed, because this time the invasion really did hurt. A pained moan escaped him making Dean stop abruptly and the older shot his brother a worried glance. But Sam merely shook his head, trying his best to relax into this new kind of touch. It didn't just feel like being touched in a sexual way. More like that, Sam felt like Dean was touching his very soul. Ever so slowly his body let go of the tension and after a while the younger one even started moving his hips into this touch. Exhaling deeply he grabbed his older brother forcefully to meet his lips in a fiery kiss. As they parted once more, Sam saw a silent question in Dean's eyes, a silent 'are you sure' and the younger simply nodded. Like so many times, Dean made him feel special. And for that Sam wanted to give him everything.

That gentle smile was all the insurance Dean needed and he answered with a tender kiss, while pulling his fingers out. He trembled ever so slightly as he ran his other hand over Sam's cheeks, before he positioned himself at his brother's entrance. Never in his life had Dean thought that he could be nervous about sexual contact. No one had ever given him any reason to be. But right now he felt like bursting with love for the one in front of him and he wanted nothing more than just to give Sam pleasure. More than that. He wanted Sam to feel his very soul, for this was just so much more than just sex. And that was a first time, even for him. He lowered his head towards his brother's sweet lips and they almost touched as he spoke.

"This might hurt…I'm sorry…"

And with that he pushed into Sam trying to be as careful and gentle as possible. Once more he felt his brother's body tense, but this time it sent jolts of pleasure through his own body. He had never thought that this could feel so amazing. But making love to the one you actually loved was so much more than just satisfying your needs. He ran a tender hand over Sam's hair, kissing him fondly, trying to help him relax. This was about him. About Sam's needs. And that was what made the difference. That Dean didn't want to rush it, so he could get his sexual desire satisfied.

"Relax Sammy…." He whispered and his little brother let out a moan, while the tension seemed to subside. Dean pushed in some more, filling his brother wholly and then lay absolutely still, so Sam could get used to the invasion. All the time his eyes never left the younger one, looking for a sign to stop him. But after some moments green eyes met his own and Dean still couldn't find any doubt in them. So he pulled out again, just to trust back, this time a little faster and Sam started to move against him. A soft moan escaped his lips and Dean answered it with one of his own.

Soon, both had found their rhythm. First is was tentative, slow and ever so gentle, but after some time both of them had lost the last of their insecurity. Dean was pushing faster by the minute and Sam met every thrust with the same passion. The older was getting closer to the climax and the younger's breathing showed the same signs.

Sam's heart was bursting with love while his body was wrecked by waves of pleasure. His hand found Dean's back and forced the older to stop the motion, just for a second that could have passed for eternity. His eyes found the green ones of his brother and his breath was caught in his throat by the beauty of them. His finger's trembled on Dean's skin, but before his brother could come to the wrong conclusion, Sam began to whisper.

"This is….so perfect…." He gasped, feeling the orgasm drawing nearer. "…Dean….I…." _love you. _He wanted to say it so badly, but the words just wouldn't leave his mouth. Winchester's didn't declare their love. Not to anyone. And especially not to their own brother. But Dean started to smile, that sweet kind of smile only Sam was allowed to see.

"Yeah I know, Sammy… me too…" he whispered, before thrusting into his brother one last time, pushing them both over the edge. Sam arched into him, gripping his back almost painfully and maybe not painful enough. And Dean held onto his little brother, never wanting to let go. Yes. This was the perfect moment. This was what it felt like to share your soul. A moment of perfect bliss. Wave after wave the orgasm shook their bodies and even after the last bits had subsided neither could let go.

A lifetime seemed to have passed as Sam carefully raised his voice to speak. "Dean,…I…." He never got to finish his sentence because the older one turned sad eyes on him, granting him one look into the very depths of his soul. "I know, Sammy….but no…just don't….not now…" And Sam obeyed.

"…_Hoping it would never end  
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye  
Holdin' on - we got to try  
Holdin' on to never say goodbye…"_

It was past midnight and Dean was sitting in the Impala, still staring at the road on which the car taking his brother away had long since ceased from view. Five hours had passed since Sam had told his father that he was leaving for college. And four since his father had left him at the old and rotting building, furious and so very disappointed. He had given him hell for letting his brother go, for not knowing sooner that something like that could happen. For failing to keep his brother where he was safe - as it had been his job.

But Dean had known that Sam was going to leave for college. And right until that night deep down in his soul he had hoped that in the end, his brother would choose him instead. But as much as Sam loved him, he hated this life so much more. And even if everything in Dean had wanted to scream at his brother for leaving him behind he hadn't been able to make him stay. For that he simply loved him too much. Dean hadn't asked Sam to stay - and Sam hadn't ask him to follow.

His eyes still burned from the earlier tears that were a mere memory now, already buried deep inside of him. They were buried with his foolish dreams and maybe one day he would be able to bury his love with them. But right now the feeling was still overwhelmingly powerful, tearing his heart apart, shredding it into tiny pieces.

His hands still trembled as he finally started the engine, shooting one last glance into the blackness that had swallowed half of his soul. "I hope you're happy now, Sammy… I hope this is worth the price…" he whispered before turning the Impala and speeding off into the night. Into a life without _him_.

"_We danced so close_

_We danced so slow_

_And I swore I'd never let you go… _

_Holdin' on to never say goodbye…"_

_**The End**_

_**Hope you guys liked it. be kind and tell me if you did:) HS  
**_


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